A five-year-old is frustrated with a toy or friend and throws a fit...
This might not be pleasing to the eyes or ears, but giving the child a time out or ignoring him tells him his feelings are not OK. Feelings of frustration are a normal part of life. By not acknowledging a child's natural emotions he may end up feeling guilty for even having them.
"I have 5-year-old twin girls and believe me, they throw fits! When it's happening I always first remind myself that they are NOT trying to upset me! I remember all the huge things that are going on in their little lives: their bodies are growing, their lives are constantly changing, they just became big sisters, maybe they're hungry or tired (yes these last two are huge to a five-year-old). They just need love, help, and understanding."
A nine year old gets stuck on a video game level and is sad, mad or frustrated...
This may seem trivial to an adult but is really important to the child. Telling him it's "no big deal" implies that his feelings are wrong. Try and remember being a kid and thinking everything in your life was just as important as the things in your adult life now. The child feels the same about his video games or the stories that he writes and we want to show him that his interests are important to us too.